the ugly me.

dear all,

as usual, lots happened in the last fews months. since my last message, i helped publised an article on a japanese academic journal, finished my first semester at waseda's GSAPS with pretty good result, went to shanghai & beijing--internship@tv station, help produced an episode of a japanese tv program, visited ancient China @ beijing, met most of the family of my significant other, translated heaps of stuff including medical prodecure docs, had lots of fun & etc etc ;p--, & finally granted a scholarship (still havent got my $$ yet tho.). still lots to be done. as the chinese communist saying goes, "revolution isn't done yet, let's charge ahead my comrades!" such a saying best reflects my current state of mind.

today i also saw an undesirable side of my conscience. it was as if i saw in flesh and blood the shadow of an older self--me, one i thought i had long got ridden yet had unknowingly lingered on, reincarnate and manifests itself in the most unlikely way. but what man can do to rid his stereotype--unhealthy biases? the very nature of our conscience are made up of sets of biases, all working simultaneously to induce the mind into a particular thought. such tendency i have found to be very severe in me, & had not realized such until i saw this clone of an ugly, older version of me. i dare not claim to have finally realized and patched this imperfection, yet at least i see better now the flaw of my design. with sweating palms & a fainting heart, i am ashamed of myself.

none to cheer about,
faulty nic