merry christmas and happy new year

to all those who visiting this blog,

merry christmas and happy new year~!!!

may all of you have a prosperous and exciting year ahead.

********************

the end of another year. the project that i took part in ended in the form of an international symposium. we were all able to publish our findings in various presentation sesssions, all in all, the whole event ended with a satisfactory note.

all looked as if we were to leave shanghai in a joyous mood when i decided to crash the party. literally, i broke off berating the whole group for incompetence in the aid of a few drinks. by the end of my brute and uncivilised outburst, i was so full of anger that i stormed out of the party and ended up in a massage parlour, with a few of me mates that came to keep me from any trouble.

after the fiasco, all the embarassment asided, i find that i do not know myself well enough, & most of all, i have let the old man down. perhaps i have hurt him the most when he has invested all in me, but to see me go amok. boy, i have never been sorrier. now if i can be man enough to tell him this.....

looking forward to a better year 2007.

a taste of being a researcher.

dear all,

been busy the last few months, mostly at scheming a never-been-done research, flying to and fro meeting the would-be research partners, a family trip to shanghai that got me betrothed, planning my own paper for said research which i hope would eventually end up as my dissertation, and lots of classes and readings in between them.

can't remember a period in life that was busier. alas i am condoled by the fact that all effort led to a fruitful ending, for waseda and fudan both have produced the desired result; now if yonsei can perform their part then our triangle would be perfect. suffice it to say that i am in debt of all parties involved who selflessly contributed to the project.

for waseda's part, we produced quite decent number of data. i am especially in debt to all my group members who selflessly invested everything in this project. to the old man, thank you for believing in us, we owe u everything.

shortly after obtaining our folks' mandate

hail future Mr & Mrs. Leong....

ladies & gentlemen, i m getting married.

after being together for nearly 5 years, lulu and i are getting married.

its a decision reached at lightning speed, think it didnt take more than 30mins for both our parents to agree on our marriage. i am personally happy that things turned out the way it is, although i would have liked to kneel down in the traditional way and propose to my angel holding a ring with both my hands.

on 10th of September 06 noon, i accompanied my parents to lulu's. it was to be the first for both families, yet this first meeting proved to be a historic one with both parents speaking in a "similar channel". i could remember how my dad threw me this look, signaling his cue to break the ice on "the topic". i then proceed to tell lulu's dad about my plans for our future, meaning i wanted more time--to settle down and find a job, which to everyone's surprise, his dad objected.

he said, "one can never actually settle down, for we all live with uncertainty one way or another," but his following words that really struck my heart, "if you are serious about creating a future with my daughter, go ahead and ask for her hand... and i shall give you both my hearty blessing!!" thus, our marriage was decided, lulu and i were left basking in the euphoria of the whole turn out of events.

we have tentatively decide to hold a ceremony next fall, after graduation. until then, we have lots to do, & boy i cant wait to face the hurdles....

my newly acquired toy!!

brand new macbook, just got it yesterday, & can't take my hands off it ever since. really a charm to use this mac os... very human friendly, better effiency function for function compared to XP but there's still quite a bit of incompatibility issues. all in all, i think its still a perfect machine merging both function and style. just the way i like it... whats more, i even have a desktop version too :-]

recent life in tokyo

i am now in my 2nd week of summer break... so far my deeds have been attending local festivals (3 of them already), watched a fireworks competition, working out at a local gym. been trying to do what i cant afford to do usually when skool kicks in.

cant wait for september to come, & D-day is on the 7th-12th. thats when me folks ll be seeing my other half's. anxious about how the whole kaboosh will unfold.... but on the bright side of it, i suppose this means progress. its been quite a while now that we r on a steady note, not to say this is not good, but i sometimes do fancy a little excitement to spice things up. hence this might just be the lacking ingredient, giving the final touches to our slowly becoming relationship.

in another note, lulu & i will also embark on another trip of negotiation in Shanghai to finalize our previous proposals will a local uni & another korean uni. hence by the end of september, i would hope to have accomplished two major advancement in life. now if i can only make out what to do in the farther future.......

cheers,
nic

recent me... tight in cash and a promising quater ahead.

life seems to find its way back to normal for me now, normal as in more worries about the future works and deadlines closing in like kamikaze zero fighters, threatening to crash and burn, taking u down along the way.

last sunday, after having compiled and sent the 1st-draft of a project i m involved in, my dear ol-trusty toshiba notebook decided to call it quits... realigning all icons and unable to display any kind of fonts, leaving me with tonnes of files & folders without any descriptions.
this display of amok couldnt come at a better timing, as i have one last term report left to complete.... still, the skool does open fr 9 to 9 daily... its not the end of the world although it would be if i cant get it ready by thursday.

this leaves me no choice but to shop for another workhorse to replace it for the next few years. currently my top choice seems to be the macbook, macbook pro, and macbook. its just such a cleaner and simpler beast to run. in the meantime i hope this borrowed laptop dont crash on me too soon.
speaking of shopping, a close friend of mine recently showed me what *aggressive shopping* meant. he basically left no room for the honda car dealer to reap profit wut so ever fr his deal, yes that good he was, very proud i am of him. his heroic act actually spurred me to emulate his negotiation success with the mac dealers... wish me luck KS, now is a time of patience, and more patience + bold negotiation tactics. gotta allocate the limited resource wisely now...

another strand of event, or more like an announcement, my folks ll b meeting lulu's!!! yes u heard me rite bros & sis, things might get cozier fr now on here.... or at least lulu & i hope so. this historical meeting shall take place in september, during lulu's birthday. i m beginning to feel the butterflies in me tummy now that D-day is drawing closer.... only less than 7 weeks to go. just cant imagine wut ll happen when they meet, will they embrace each other or will they be engaged in a cold war??? hmmmmm need lots of prep to make this meeting trouble free... just the thought of it makes me feel weak in the knee.

thats all for today, gotta let this troubled mind rest a little.

cheerio,
nic

idle me... or am i?

after leaving this site to rot for about a semester, i finally pluck up enough time and effort to replace my last entry with this.

the long inactivity is due to many objective and personal reasons... too busy with work, too lazy to tell everyone how i ve been struggling with work and most of relevant of all, too busy cocooned in my own little universe of blissful ignorance. its a scary business this world of the academia.... one must keep on producing and find ways to let others know ur result or else u ll fall out of the *circle*... one cannot help but recall the scene of Mr. Anderson taking the blue pill & that 3 episode long tumble down the rabbit hole.

i spent the past few months trying out many things but study... or should i say, productive study. the first month was packed with events and toil that came and went with every new semester i suppose. after the gradual lift of euphoria, reality took over and kept me busy for quite a while. by the end of may, i had completed the course work for one of the only 3 subjects i enrolled this semester.... yes yes... i m took it easy this time "round, but hey who's to say skool life is mere class related?

the end of the month i had found a way to keep me busy the rest of the year, i volunteered to represent our seminar class, applied for a joint research with shanghai & seoul, finally and surprisingly we were selected without much of a debate. this was an amazing coordination of personel at various department to which i cannot take credit... owing to the fact that i had only managed to submit a proposal to a foundation which we r still pending for reply. however, a decision *did* evolve after much crossing of opinion.

then came the time consuming, brain exhausting, nerve testing process of contacting prospective partners... its mainly a business of people: locating them, convince or even seduce them with original ideas, negotiate solutions, sometimes even leaning close to the business of espionage--well captured in Sunzi's words "know thy self & enemy...& thou shalt win 100 wars & more."

still there is goodness much of it in the recent past, one of them being a free trip to shanghai in june, yes yet again, my 3rd in a yr, to meet our research partner. the few weeks before the trip and after were nothing short of an unhumane strain of nerve. such was the stress and pressure that i had trouble going about my usual daily life... slumber never came, food lost its flavor=(for those who know me, i m not kidding...really.), entertainment failed its bidding... yet all those seem horribly acceptable now.

the sudden change of wind is due to, seemingly, our success in attracting our partners to stay and join us... both shanghai and seoul... hurray~!!! all this good news brought me out of that gloomy state of despair upon stressed out nerve. & hence in a tipsy state of mind i ve decided to celebrate this wonderful moment by removing the cobweb from this humble site.

*********************************

clearly there is much to be done and that feeling of underachievment still lingers in me. like a scar unhealed that stings, reminding the owner to attend due care; & that stenches, reflecting how rotten it has got for lack of regard. still i hobble along, fearing competition might catch up and that the momentum gained might be lost, fearing the present might be erst memory forever lost...

'tis indeed precious to find moments of leisure, even the thought of it reflects leisure in a way. why one should be so chased by time and opportunity i do not know, indeed all that i m made to believe is that there is much to be gained & nothing to lose. welcome to the rat race.

yours
idly N

moving on...

just had another tiring day fr skool. we r now 2 weeks into the semester, already i hav got more than a handful of work awaiting my attention. but as usual, the show must go on, therefore i must move on too. yet all is good, actually better than i had expected. only just now, i was appointed as one of the two reps. to prepare for the next overseas program. looking forward to another exciting adventure... cant say much now but from where i am now, i m looking westward for a solution. lets hope everything can turn out as i planned.

really glad that i m now in tokyo, able to learn from such a diverse community. its had to say which is a better skool, APU or Waseda, but here in tokyo i do get to participate in projects. & at last i m beginning to find out my true value, or to say i can now attach a price tag on myself. still there is much to do and the going is still tough, one must face the stereotype of being a junior member and learn one's position within the hierarchy. the former i can anticipate; the latter i m still grappling with even to this day.

the first meeting after my election is scheduled on friday late noon, until then i shall need to polish my presentation, my tool to seal the deal :]

till then,
cheers,

to my sister

hey,

wuts wrong wif the telephone line at home? cant seem to get through... might want telekom to thoroughly check the connection.

cheers,

more pics from tsukuba

なんと美しいオハナだ :]

spring in japan

taken on my birthday @ tsukuba.

Dr M. receives PhD @ Waseda.

his speech like always was both amusing & thought provoking at the same time :] proud to be a Malaysian... if only we could hav more leaders like him :p

long long day

spent the whole day outside... went to skool, had lunch with friends, went for a walk along the magnificent Kanda river where sakura petals painted the river pink, turned in my next application for financial assistance, & finally went to see my ol'man for new advice for my next project.

all in all, it was a busy day. yet for some reason, there is sth amiss amongst the long list... for i wasnt satisfied by this achievement. every moment i d remind myself that all is still at stake, no room for that *common ground* as its a winner take all game.

yet i fear this intense way of living might not be enough to carry me to my goals. to realize them require much more... much more than i now possess. if only God can hear this loud cry....

sth i forgot to upload... a memorable moment with mayor ma

never thought i b able to see him in person :]

Shanghai & Suzhou, 2006 Spring

more to come but this is wut i can find on my camera for now.

the ugly me.

dear all,

as usual, lots happened in the last fews months. since my last message, i helped publised an article on a japanese academic journal, finished my first semester at waseda's GSAPS with pretty good result, went to shanghai & beijing--internship@tv station, help produced an episode of a japanese tv program, visited ancient China @ beijing, met most of the family of my significant other, translated heaps of stuff including medical prodecure docs, had lots of fun & etc etc ;p--, & finally granted a scholarship (still havent got my $$ yet tho.). still lots to be done. as the chinese communist saying goes, "revolution isn't done yet, let's charge ahead my comrades!" such a saying best reflects my current state of mind.

today i also saw an undesirable side of my conscience. it was as if i saw in flesh and blood the shadow of an older self--me, one i thought i had long got ridden yet had unknowingly lingered on, reincarnate and manifests itself in the most unlikely way. but what man can do to rid his stereotype--unhealthy biases? the very nature of our conscience are made up of sets of biases, all working simultaneously to induce the mind into a particular thought. such tendency i have found to be very severe in me, & had not realized such until i saw this clone of an ugly, older version of me. i dare not claim to have finally realized and patched this imperfection, yet at least i see better now the flaw of my design. with sweating palms & a fainting heart, i am ashamed of myself.

none to cheer about,
faulty nic

one sunny winter afternoon @ Tokyo Tower, Minato ward, Tokyo

after the rotary club interview, i decided to explore the neighbourhood. this place has some mind soothing spots. parks, temples, tokyo tower...
btw, all photos taken wif me trusty little keitai (handphone) ;]

Rotary club interview yesterday

so it was a sunny tuesday morning, just like any other good business day, i attended the long awaited interview for my application of the rotary yoneyama scholarship here in Japan.

having only slept not more than a couple hours, i went to skool first to submit a term paper, hav a few light moments wif classmates & present my suggestion for another international joint research trip to the sensei. at about 11am, me and my well loosened up mind head for the business district the Minato ward.

the interview was scheduled to be held at the japanese Red Cross Assoc. building. the interior was very business like, typically clean muffling carpet, dimly lit lobby, and well crafted wooden armrest lining the winding staircase. arriving more than 2 hrs early, i seated myself in the waiting room, watching many potential scholarship receivers, my competition, led out of the room.

not to say that i wasnt anxious or excited, but i didnt worry about the interview until it became a memory wedged deeply in my head. i felt good at the interview, & did quite well at leading the conversation, or at least thats how i remembered it. one of them on the panel happened to be an Old Boy of my present skool, another whose daughter graduated already, but this did not ease things a bit. in fact, i realized later that i was thrown some pretty agressive punches by em ol'folks.

that being said, i should count my blessings as i think their impression of me is a positive one. now the only glitch bugging me after giving the whole session a run down in my head is this one thing the OB said--"there are lots of students fr ur skool thats on our payroll, so if u happen to find urself not on the list, i hope u understand", before the buzzer sounded signalling the end of our talk. i promptly left with a bow.

all i can do now is pray and keep em digits crossed, the result ll be out in early march. hopefully by then i b too busy indulging myself in the the company of lulu & shanghai, that all foul news could be swallowed down like a gulp of chinese HongKaoLiang spirit minus the fire-spitting throat-vexxing sting.

cheers,

happy new year~!!

dear all,

been gone for a while now, i mean literally i was not at home for a long time. went to taiwan during early december, met lots of interesting and not to mention powerful ppl there including the current KMT chairman Ma Ying 9. then there were also the DPP reps and the Taiwan Thinktank, asahi newspaper's taipei bureau chief, & i was especially on good terms wif a few of the students at taiwan's soochow university :]

yet as i step back to reality, i was met with a midterm essay, which explains how i spent my christmas eve. & there is 2 more coming. plus other homeworks i missed while i was in taiwan. oh... wut a sweet dream it was just days ago.

apart fr the endless pile of work, the weather is also not helping me coping wif work at all, this winter proves to be the coldest for japan since the last 25 yrs. i m glad its doesnt snow in tokyo, at least not yet. it gets dark early too, these days its light out at 5pm here in tokyo. i m still trying to get used to this short daytime, but i guess i should count my bless as this winter is pretty dry hence tolerable compared to the previous ones.

wonder how everyone is doing these days. wish everyone a happy and prosperous year ahead.

cheers,
nicholas